Life isn't getting any better. All its doing right now is going from bad to worse. Theres nothing to even be happy about anymore. Everything is so dull and just not how it used to be once upon a time.
My boyfriend got a new job as a flight purser. He has just begun some days back but i hate how things have become between us. We hardly talk and even if we do talk its only about how his training is going on. Tbh, its like we only talk for bout 15 minutes in 24 hours. It doesnt feel right at all. I'm trying my best to adjust to his new timings and stuff like that but its just too hard and its killing me, literally. Its like, i always have to adjust according to him and his life. I dont know for how long i will be able to keep up with this really. I'm so scared. I dont want to lose him. I dont want this relationship to end. This is my first real relationship with a guy and i cant imagine it ending. I spend my whole day just thinking bout him and sometimes even cry. He doesnt know that though. All he knows is that "im always upset and always want to fight". Im trying to change the way i feel and try not to think bout him so much and keep myself busy but it just doesnt work out. It drives my crazy and i just dont know how im going to keep going on like this. I hope i dont break down soon.
Also, i havent managed to get a job yet. FRUSTERATING!! Thats exactly how i feel.

It feels like im in this phase of "bad luck" and it just doesnt seem to wear off...it just gets even worse. I waiting for God to show me a little bit of pitty. Its high time. Seriously!!

Im going out with my fam to the south. I'l be going for an interview there and roam a bit as well...wish me luck people! And God a little hint to you...a little good luck my way would really help and would really show me you care!!